Author Archives: iwant2belikeme

About iwant2belikeme

I am a freelance writer, audiobook narrator and occasional movie extra. I currently live in the small town of Fischbach bei Dahn, Germany, which is very close to the French border. I have previously lived throughout the US. I have traveled quite a bit, and love to share pictures! I also enjoy music and the nightlife! I probably should have started a blog a long time ago but I will now start sharing my stories and pictures for those who may be interested!

Don’t Just Believe It – Live It!


Sure it is tough being in a rut day after day.  You go devotedly to the same nothing job, and the money never increases, so there’s no way out. It’s a safe place, though, because you know what you’re going to bring home every payday and you’ve got your bills all figured out. You’re in a somewhat safe place as long as everything’s covered.

photo of woman looking at the mirror

Photo by bruce mars on

But, come on! You know you had dreams! You know that one day you thought you were going to be famous. You still look in the mirror every day and see a hint of the young person who once had ambition.

You might be the best damn cashier in the whole store, heck, even the whole company. But who the hell ever got famous for being a good cashier? Who ever got famous for flipping a burger really good?

If there was something that you enjoyed in your personal life and were really good at, then go back to it. Make it your passion. Find the time! Take the time! It’s so worth it.

Wouldn’t you rather be rich and famous from a painting that you drew, rather than the one billionth customer you rang up?

You have to find your opportunity and take it. You are living your life. You have to take charge.

Why do we tolerate the word “knee”?


230312_1959545275894_2355454_nOk, so I’m not talking about the word “knee” literally. I’m talking about the way it’s spelled. That and a few others, such as damn, doubt, gnat, and gnome.

Why the hell do we need silent letters in English words? Who made that rule, and why is it okay? And why are we forced to go along with it? Can someone explain?



Why You Might Never Want To Meet Your Idols


I’d rather not mention names here, but as fortune would have it, I actually met and even became friends with a singer who I had idolized for many years. I first heard of him when he was with a somewhat popular band, and followed his solo career when he left the group. I had a sort of a teenage crush on him and was a little obsessed, quite frankly.

I finally had the opportunity to go to one of his concerts in Germany. I thought for sure it would be at a huge concert hall with thousands of people. As fortune would have it, it was quite small, and I even got to meet him and hang out with him before the show! When I first saw him standing outside of the venue, I couldn’t believe my eyes. I know I acted totally stupid, I mean, here he was, just standing here and talking to me!! And we were like, just, hanging out!

The next time he came through, I was there. And he recognized me! So, we hung out a little before the show again, and he told me that I would love the opening band. He was right. They were incredible!

Well, after attending a few more shows since then, we were friends. Not only were we friends, but I became close friends with the opening band.

So now things are weird. It’s not weird as in our friendship being weird. It’s weird in the fact that I want to be that star-struck fan again, but now it’s different. I’m still insane about their music and I still scream and dance around like crazy at all their shows.

11200805_10206214327024706_4085956511866190911_n (2)But now I hang out with them backstage and even have their telephone numbers. Every fan’s dream, right?

Don’t get me wrong. It is a dream come true. But now I’ve gotten to know them as people. I know about their personal lives. I know about things they deal with. I’ve come to find out that they are normal, everyday people.

What I really wanted was to know them as the insane people they portray onstage. I wanted to think of them as dangerous.

Instead, I’ve met some wonderful people who have some of the same struggles as I do. They stick together and look out for each other. They have families that they miss and leave behind as they tour the world. They are so normal!

Getting to know your idols in person can change your whole perspective of them. That can be both good and bad.


Therapeutic Conversations


Have you ever really sat back and noticed how a conversation can just go on and on, with several different topics being covered in a short period of time?

That happens often when one gets started on a topic about something that happened in someone’s life or a situation that the listeners can relate to. You start talking about one situation, and then it slowly drifts into another as other people add their perspectives. As new situations are added, the more others relate.

group of people sitting on white mat on grass field

Photo by Helena Lopes on

That’s why group discussions and therapy can be helpful. You might go in thinking that you’re just going to listen, and lo and behold! you share a similar experience and can’t wait to get it off your chest.



In Love With Being In Love


Beginning romance is one of the best feelings there is. You feel sexy and attractive. And actually, you are. You put more focus on your appearance when there is someone who obviously really likes the way you look.

19105735_10212634375601908_1877532314289582754_n (2)It’s sad that this feeling doesn’t last forever. Some relationships fizzle out in a short time. Some last a little longer. But the butterflies in the stomach slowly flitter away.

If only that feeling could last forever! Some people enjoy it so much that as soon as it wears off they start looking around for something else. Someone would make a fortune if they could find a way to bottle it.


Physically Attractive vs Sex Appeal


Have you ever noticed that sometimes you can be sexually attracted to someone just from their actions? There is a certain charm about some people that makes you just envision what they are like in bed. When they possess this sort of appeal, the fact that they are overweight or have any other unattractive features seem unnoticeable.

At the same time, there are many physically attractive people who draw you in immediately by their looks, only to turn you off by their actions. Still, you may wish to consider taming the beast and giving it a go. Those types of relationships usually don’t end up going very far in the long run.

That’s why you should really get to know someone before you consider taking things a step further. Things aren’t always what they seem.

beach bikini couple enjoyment

Photo by Adam Kontor on

The “Good” Book??


I’ve just never been able to figure out why many people swear on the Bible. It is also amazing to me about how many of those same people have never actually read it. And of those who have, is there something wrong with their comprehension skills. The Bible is full of hatred, violence, and incest!

How can this book even be considered “good”. It preaches one thing, yet obviously, there were many goings-on in there that we should overlook.

Apparently, they realized that many things were wrong back then and set out to create rules to make things right. That is all fine and good. Yet there are people today who only go to church so that they can see the bad in others. Since they go to church religiously, that makes them good, right?

How are hatred and fault-finding right? Just do good and accept others for who they are and that’s all the guidance you need.




Who needs relationships? Can’t we just have sex?


So, who ever decided that exclusive relationships between two people was the only way to go? I mean, cheating would be eliminated completely if we could just be with who we want to be with whenever we wanted to be with them, right? Why dedicate years of your life to just one person? Just spend some quality time together and then move on.

Sexual urges are natural and can happen at any time whenever two people experience things together. Different situations can bring people closer, like a work assignment, an accident – any number of things. If you’re dedicated to one person, you have to somehow pretend you’re not human with natural urges. How do you do that?? Slip-ups happen all the time.

OK, so I’m a married woman myself. I enjoyed a wild single life and I didn’t even think about marriage until I met my husband. I guess it’s just what you eventually do. You find someone that you think you can live with for the rest of your life. And I think that I can do that with my husband. But sometimes the thoughts are there. Not thoughts of cheating, but thoughts of why do I do things differently out of consideration of being a married woman.

I miss a lot of simple things, like being able to read a book in peace. I wish I could just eat a quick snack, but instead cook up a meal for the two of us. I want to go on a diet, but then I’d have to cook separate meals or tell him to fend for himself, and that’s not right.


And then there’s the sex. To be honest, I wish we were having more. Much more. Our married sex has gotten down to maybe only once or twice a month, seriously. He can’t perform as well as he used to, and I don’t like to force him, so….. So, yeah, that’s why I find myself coming back to these ponderings.


Growing Up With a Bad Mother


Growing up, my mother always made us feel sorry for her. We were to blame for her varicose veins. It was our fault that she couldn’t get a job and go to work. Poor mom never had money while we were kids because of us. Once we were old enough to get out and get jobs ourselves, we were required to give up our money to help support the household.

Before this, however, only Mom was able to have the good clothes. She told us that she was the one who had to look good for the family. She would then pass them on down to us, whether they fit us well or not. Come to think of it, she had plenty of money for alcohol and drugs, too.


When we got driver’s licenses, Mom suddenly needed to be taken places. I’m not sure how she managed so well before, but now she had places she had to go. Funny – I literally hitchhiked to work at the age of 15, because I was forced to find a job and figure out myself how to get there. Mom wasn’t concerned about who it was that might pick me up. She needed money. I ended up being quite fortunate, because I was propositioned many times. Luckily, nothing happened.

My mom’s pity party that we endured as children carried on into our adulthood. My younger siblings still make themselves available for her every beck and call. They are the “Good Kids”.  I, for one, am not playing into it. She doesn’t deserve it from me.

Funny thing, when you’re young and you’re raised that way, you just don’t know any better. You are taught to respect your parents and you don’t even realize how wrong they are. It’s not until you’re older that you start to wonder how you ever thought any of that was right. I can’t make my siblings see it, though. They are all against me. I’m okay with that.



Bad Parenting Can Produce Good Kids


The way your parents raise you defines you, which doesn’t have to mean that they were good people at all. Sometimes just the opposite is true. Often bad parents churn out the best adults.

Take me, for instance. My dad was an alcoholic who left when I and my two sisters were very young. My mother went on to marry another alcoholic who was extremely abusive towards all of us. He threatened to shoot us, and hung one of my sisters up in a closet. My mother finally left him, and just when we thought we were safe, she decided to date guys my age and do drugs. OK, they were a few years older, but very few.


(Above picture is of me, my sisters and mom when we were young. I’m the girl in front in the blue and white.)

Mom allowed said boyfriends to abuse us, as well. Since she was doped up most of the time, she didn’t stop them. They spent the night in the living room, where I also slept. Things happened that I’ve never told anyone about. I don’t understand how any mother could subject her daughter to that, but mine did.

I finally left when I turned 18. I went far away. I met back up with my long-lost dad who claimed to want to be there for me. When I did need anything, though, it was more like, “Sorry, I’m the one who needs help, you should be helping me.” I was pretty much used to not asking for things, though, so it was cool.

As I got older, I realized that my parents’ parenting style was not normal. I vowed to do all I could to be there for my own kids. I don’t have much to do with my mom and dad anymore, and when I tell them why, my parents have the nerve to blame me.

Gotta love parents who take no responsibility for all the bad things that happened to you because of things that they did. How could I, as a child, have been responsible? I made the decision to leave my family when I turned 18. This was held against me. My mother told me to never ask for anything if I went, and to this day, I never did.

Fortunately, my actions changed her, too. She stopped her drugging and drinking and became one of those people who complained about others that do. She became Super Grandma to my other siblings’ kids because they were raised around her. She never had much to do with mine, because she didn’t get to know them. Which she and my siblings never let me forget because it was all my fault for leaving.

I actually meant for this blog post to be about a totally different thing, but there you have it. I’ve finally let it out.