Author Archives: iwant2belikeme

About iwant2belikeme

I am a freelance writer, audiobook narrator and occasional movie extra. I currently live in the small town of Fischbach bei Dahn, Germany, which is very close to the French border. I have previously lived throughout the US. I have traveled quite a bit, and love to share pictures! I also enjoy music and the nightlife! I probably should have started a blog a long time ago but I will now start sharing my stories and pictures for those who may be interested!

Growing Up With a Bad Mother


Growing up, my mother always made us feel sorry for her. We were to blame for her varicose veins. It was our fault that she couldn’t get a job and go to work. Poor mom never had money while we were kids because of us. Once we were old enough to get out and get jobs ourselves, we were required to give up our money to help support the household.

Before this, however, only Mom was able to have the good clothes. She told us that she was the one who had to look good for the family. She would then pass them on down to us, whether they fit us well or not. Come to think of it, she had plenty of money for alcohol and drugs, too.


When we got driver’s licenses, Mom suddenly needed to be taken places. I’m not sure how she managed so well before, but now she had places she had to go. Funny – I literally hitchhiked to work at the age of 15, because I was forced to find a job and figure out myself how to get there. Mom wasn’t concerned about who it was that might pick me up. She needed money. I ended up being quite fortunate, because I was propositioned many times. Luckily, nothing happened.

My mom’s pity party that we endured as children carried on into our adulthood. My younger siblings still make themselves available for her every beck and call. They are the “Good Kids”.  I, for one, am not playing into it. She doesn’t deserve it from me.

Funny thing, when you’re young and you’re raised that way, you just don’t know any better. You are taught to respect your parents and you don’t even realize how wrong they are. It’s not until you’re older that you start to wonder how you ever thought any of that was right. I can’t make my siblings see it, though. They are all against me. I’m okay with that.




Bad Parenting Can Produce Good Kids


The way your parents raise you defines you, which doesn’t have to mean that they were good people at all. Sometimes just the opposite is true. Often bad parents churn out the best adults.

Take me, for instance. My dad was an alcoholic who left when I and my two sisters were very young. My mother went on to marry another alcoholic who was extremely abusive towards all of us. He threatened to shoot us, and hung one of my sisters up in a closet. My mother finally left him, and just when we thought we were safe, she decided to date guys my age and do drugs. OK, they were a few years older, but very few.


(Above picture is of me, my sisters and mom when we were young. I’m the girl in front in the blue and white.)

Mom allowed said boyfriends to abuse us, as well. Since she was doped up most of the time, she didn’t stop them. They spent the night in the living room, where I also slept. Things happened that I’ve never told anyone about. I don’t understand how any mother could subject her daughter to that, but mine did.

I finally left when I turned 18. I went far away. I met back up with my long-lost dad who claimed to want to be there for me. When I did need anything, though, it was more like, “Sorry, I’m the one who needs help, you should be helping me.” I was pretty much used to not asking for things, though, so it was cool.

As I got older, I realized that my parents’ parenting style was not normal. I vowed to do all I could to be there for my own kids. I don’t have much to do with my mom and dad anymore, and when I tell them why, my parents have the nerve to blame me.

Gotta love parents who take no responsibility for all the bad things that happened to you because of things that they did. How could I, as a child, have been responsible? I made the decision to leave my family when I turned 18. This was held against me. My mother told me to never ask for anything if I went, and to this day, I never did.

Fortunately, my actions changed her, too. She stopped her drugging and drinking and became one of those people who complained about others that do. She became Super Grandma to my other siblings’ kids because they were raised around her. She never had much to do with mine, because she didn’t get to know them. Which she and my siblings never let me forget because it was all my fault for leaving.

I actually meant for this blog post to be about a totally different thing, but there you have it. I’ve finally let it out.


Should You Keep a Cheater?


If you find out your significant other has cheated, should you keep them? Here you are, you’ve just gotten comfortable with someone. You’ve gotten them “trained”, so to speak. They know your habits. You know theirs. You’ve both gotten comfortable with the daily routine.

Now you found out it wasn’t all what you thought. At least, not on their end. They got a little bored with the routine. They had an opportunity to cheat. And they took it.

Maybe a one-night stand didn’t matter very much to them. Maybe you almost wouldn’t have found out about it. After you get over the initial hurt and mistrust, you can go on with your lives. The cheater is generally remorseful, because they got caught up in the moment. They doesn’t really want to switch up their daily routine any more than you do. They just want to bury it under the rug and go back to normal.


But it doesn’t work that way. Or does it?

If it’s been an on-going affair, it’s a little different. Obviously, in order to carry that out, there is no everyday home routine that the cheater could stick to. Maybe there was one, but it definitely changed things when they suddenly had to find reasons to disappear.  That, in itself, causes problems because it upsets the old predictable and everyone has to readjust. After you’ve discovered the reason why you had to readjust, you’re not too happy about the whole thing.

So, what do you do? Do you show yourself as an understanding human being, or do you take it personal? There is always going to be pain and hurt in these situations. But, are you better as a team? Do you stand to lose more by breaking up?

A Little Cheat Can Have Big Consequences


Cheating never seems so bad to the cheater. Sometimes it might really not be anything. There could come a time when you just want to give someone a simple kiss. (Yes, it could happen!) But a more meaningful kiss, such as with the tongue…? Well, that somehow never seems like such a bad thing to the partner who did it. But it can be devastating to the partner who’s had their heart ripped out over it.

When such an act is found out, there will always be doubts as to whether you can be trusted. After all – you know good and well that if you went so far as to French kiss someone, it wouldn’t take much more to take things a little further.

And, yes, even then you may have not taken it as seriously. It may have just been a few hours of fun to you. You and the person you cheated with just lived for the moment and let your bodies do what came naturally. No big thing, right?

sBut once you’ve cheated on your partner and gotten away with it, you probably wouldn’t have a problem doing it again. And again. The first “cheat” is usually the hardest because you do know it’s wrong. Then, once you’ve done it, you probably think, “Eh, what the heck.”

If you really love your partner, why would you even risk losing them over something so trivial? Why would you want to hurt them? Isn’t your life great when you are on a level with someone when you can share everything with them and not let the thoughts of another person distract you?

And, yes, sending flirty text messages that you know would upset your partner is wrong.  But you knew that.

If you’re not having sex right now, read this.


Somewhere in the world, someone’s having sex. OK, there are probably lots and lots of people having sex right now. Surely you’ve had sex a time or two. Depending on your status and your age, the reason for your sex act may differ. That’s because the meanings and thoughts of sex change as you get older. Even though you get better at it with time, you may end up slowing down at some point.

When you’re younger, you have a lot of pent-up desire that needs to be released. A new relationship also sees a lot of “action” in the beginning. That’s because you are learning new things about each other. Your thoughts throughout the day are consumed with what you did the night before, along with stuff you want to try. Naturally, by the time you get together again, your bodies are raging with passion.

10557472_10204179914085654_4627389960411584773_nOnce you’ve been together for a while, you know exactly what it takes to please your partner. Sex is good, but the head games have cooled down. For some, this works out perfectly. Others, however, may get bored and search elsewhere. The older you are, the more you are likely to stick with it. It’s just safer that way, for the most part. Others may need a little more adventure.

Either way, have fun. I am going to end this so we can all get back to it.


Don’t Fucking Read This!


There are so many people who would rather choose to find fault in something than focus on the message that that person is trying to get across. For instance, if I fill this blog post up with choice words such as fucking and shit, there would be those PC do-gooders that gasp in horror and not read what I have to say. Of course, there are those who may find this more interesting because of the fact that there are curse words in it.

Since this post may not provide anyone with anything of real value, it probably doesn’t if the Gaspers quickly exit my page. However, there are times when someone is passionate about something and uses choice words to describe it. What does it even matter? They are trying to get a point across in the best way they know how. By using these words, you know that they are doing their best to express it.

Do these words harm you in any way? You may be missing out on important information by turning a deaf ear on someone.

17202752_10154993549175941_6483871006561412311_nAlso, when you happen to see someone doing something wrong that doesn’t conform to “The Rules”, could you get over it? If it doesn’t interfere with your day-to-day life, can you just let it go?

I’m sure that police are often called because someone simply broke the law. They didn’t harm themselves or anyone else, but someone saw them doing something they shouldn’t have. They then felt it was their duty to report it. Can’t you people just leave the police alone to attend to the more important matters in life?

OK, that’s my rant. I warned you from the beginning not to fucking read it. If you’ve made it this far, I hope you found it entertaining.


What’s Wrong With Me Eating My Cake?


I can never understand why people make it seem like it’s such a bad thing to have your cake and eat it, too? I mean, cake is good! But that’s besides the point. OK, if I earned a piece of cake, I deserve to eat it. Achieving your goals in life, means you deserve a reward. When you receive an award, you should also be allowed to enjoy it.

I will be the first to admit that I want my cake, and to eat it, too. If that makes me selfish or anything else, then so be it.cake-2459954_1280

I’m Dying


I’m dying. And so are you. And so is everybody.

We are dying the moment we arrive. Actually, we are dying before that. We are dying in our mother’s womb. Some never even make it out alive. From the moment we are created, we are dying. Therefore, why don’t we live like it? Why don’t we live like we are dying?

So, then, why don’t we live like it? Why don’t we live like we are dying?

Our lives should be full of love and joy and living for the moment. You hear it all the time: “Live each day as if it were your last”. Yet, why don’t we?

UntitledOur impending death seems to always be forgotten. We whine and complain about aches and pains and all sorts of irrelevant things. Even then, death is the farthest thing from our minds. If we did think about it, though, we would probably not feel our pain as strongly. We would not complain about stupid, trivial things that our loved ones do.

If you’ve ever had someone who was close to you pass away, then you most likely thought back on all of the things you could have changed while they were alive. Even if you were close, there are always feelings of remorse about how you could have done something differently, and now it’s too late.

We think these thoughts and feel remorse for a while, and then we forget. We go back to our daily lives and routines until the next eye-opener.

When we are born, we come into this world just like everyone else. No matter what status or wealth our parents have, we all come in the same way. What we do with our lives is up to us. What we make of ourselves is up to us. When we are young, our lives are manipulated and shaped by other people. Once we become aware of life and our surroundings, it’s up to us to make something of ourselves.

Only by making it a habit of living our lives right from the beginning and teaching our children how precious life is, is the only way to fully enjoy the short time that we are given. It’s the way to set an example for future generations and maybe bring some peace to this world of hate we’ve become.

The Key To Success Is Sticking To Your Plan


When you decide to be your own boss, you’ll find that you have to be tougher on yourself than any other boss you’ve ever had. The best way to be successful is by setting goals and reaching them. In order to do that, you have to create a plan and stick to it, and that takes a lot of discipline!

checklist-1643781__340Mapping out your plan and following it is important, but your plan should be monitored and altered constantly. Times and trends change, so you have to keep up with what’s hot and what’s not. If you see that one method isn’t working, it’s time to come up with a change of plan.

If something isn’t working, it’s redundant to keep doing the same things. Whatever you do, don’t give up! If your idea was good for you, chances are, there are millions of other people who will benefit from it. Come up with new ideas. Change your approach. Do whatever it takes to make the money you need to survive, and, better yet, to be successful.

Read often and study what other people are doing to be successful.  Be sure to create your own methods and use your own style. That is what is going to make your product unique. When you make that leap to go into business for yourself, you have to be the strictest boss and the most hard-working employee, all in one. No matter what your niche is, the route to the top is all the same!

No matter what your niche is, the route to the top is all the same!


Caring For Others Starts With Caring For Ourselves


When it comes to taking care of others, we can’t do it until we take care of ourselves. Whether we are talking about our country helping others, or we, as a parent, want to provide for our children – until we are stable, we can’t offer much to anyone else.

I am not sure what it is that makes some countries want to help others when they have so many of their own people living in the streets. Sure, there are some who chose that route due to their own issues, such as drug usage or just not wanting any other lifestyle. But there are actually real people who had nowhere else to turn.

burden-1296754_960_720Why are there so many people who can’t afford to see a doctor, and when they do, can’t afford to take the proper sick time to care for themselves? Why is it so hard to get on disability? Instead, they are forced to go to work and suffer until they eventually work themselves to death. What’s more, they are forced to pay taxes which pay for healthy people to sit back and enjoy a good life!

As an individual, you are probably always taking care of others and not taking proper care of yourself.  But, how does that work out? You can’t help others unless you are ok yourself! And yet, we are made to feel guilty when we focus on ourselves. We are seen as vain and self-centered. Countries, too, should take care of themselves before they take care of others.

Just like when you’re on an airplane and you get those safety instructions before your flight takes off – they tell you that in the case of an emergency,  you need to put on your own mask first, and then help a child. Whether it is instinct or just thinking you are doing the right thing, you would probably want to put the kid’s mask on first. However, once the kid’s mask is on and you lose oxygen, would they be able to help you? So, it is actually more logical that you take care of yourself first.

287006_2228597322027_2145461_oFocus on you! Take care of yourself so that you can take better care of your children. Be a role model. If you want the best for them, have an education and a good job so that you can best take care and provide for them.  Surround yourself with good people who help boost your morale. Focus on your health and taking good care of yourself if that means you will live longer and be a better person. While many of us can’t afford health care, we can still make better choices when it comes to eating and exercising.

When we are all the best we can be, only then can we, individually, or as a group, help others.