So, who ever decided that exclusive relationships between two people was the only way to go? I mean, cheating would be eliminated completely if we could just be with who we want to be with whenever we wanted to be with them, right? Why dedicate years of your life to just one person? Just spend some quality time together and then move on.
Sexual urges are natural and can happen at any time whenever two people experience things together. Different situations can bring people closer, like a work assignment, an accident – any number of things. If you’re dedicated to one person, you have to somehow pretend you’re not human with natural urges. How do you do that?? Slip-ups happen all the time.
OK, so I’m a married woman myself. I enjoyed a wild single life and I didn’t even think about marriage until I met my husband. I guess it’s just what you eventually do. You find someone that you think you can live with for the rest of your life. And I think that I can do that with my husband. But sometimes the thoughts are there. Not thoughts of cheating, but thoughts of why do I do things differently out of consideration of being a married woman.
I miss a lot of simple things, like being able to read a book in peace. I wish I could just eat a quick snack, but instead cook up a meal for the two of us. I want to go on a diet, but then I’d have to cook separate meals or tell him to fend for himself, and that’s not right.
And then there’s the sex. To be honest, I wish we were having more. Much more. Our married sex has gotten down to maybe only once or twice a month, seriously. He can’t perform as well as he used to, and I don’t like to force him, so….. So, yeah, that’s why I find myself coming back to these ponderings.
If you find out your significant other has cheated, should you keep them? Here you are, you’ve just gotten comfortable with someone. You’ve gotten them “trained”, so to speak. They know your habits. You know theirs. You’ve both gotten comfortable with the daily routine.
Now you found out it wasn’t all what you thought. At least, not on their end. They got a little bored with the routine. They had an opportunity to cheat. And they took it.
Maybe a one-night stand didn’t matter very much to them. Maybe you almost wouldn’t have found out about it. After you get over the initial hurt and mistrust, you can go on with your lives. The cheater is generally remorseful, because they got caught up in the moment. They doesn’t really want to switch up their daily routine any more than you do. They just want to bury it under the rug and go back to normal.
But it doesn’t work that way. Or does it?
If it’s been an on-going affair, it’s a little different. Obviously, in order to carry that out, there is no everyday home routine that the cheater could stick to. Maybe there was one, but it definitely changed things when they suddenly had to find reasons to disappear. That, in itself, causes problems because it upsets the old predictable and everyone has to readjust. After you’ve discovered the reason why you had to readjust, you’re not too happy about the whole thing.
So, what do you do? Do you show yourself as an understanding human being, or do you take it personal? There is always going to be pain and hurt in these situations. But, are you better as a team? Do you stand to lose more by breaking up?
Cheating never seems so bad to the cheater. Sometimes it might really not be anything. There could come a time when you just want to give someone a simple kiss. (Yes, it could happen!) But a more meaningful kiss, such as with the tongue…? Well, that somehow never seems like such a bad thing to the partner who did it. But it can be devastating to the partner who’s had their heart ripped out over it.
When such an act is found out, there will always be doubts as to whether you can be trusted. After all – you know good and well that if you went so far as to French kiss someone, it wouldn’t take much more to take things a little further.
And, yes, even then you may have not taken it as seriously. It may have just been a few hours of fun to you. You and the person you cheated with just lived for the moment and let your bodies do what came naturally. No big thing, right?
But once you’ve cheated on your partner and gotten away with it, you probably wouldn’t have a problem doing it again. And again. The first “cheat” is usually the hardest because you do know it’s wrong. Then, once you’ve done it, you probably think, “Eh, what the heck.”
If you really love your partner, why would you even risk losing them over something so trivial? Why would you want to hurt them? Isn’t your life great when you are on a level with someone when you can share everything with them and not let the thoughts of another person distract you?
And, yes, sending flirty text messages that you know would upset your partner is wrong. But you knew that.