Sober Activities to Do During Summer


Learning to live a life that no longer involves drinking or getting high can leave you at a loss for coming up with things you can actually do. During the summer when the days are warmer and longer, you could become restless and unsure of how to keep yourself active with only sober activities to occupy yourself with. 

But, you’d be amazed at how many things there really are that are fun and easy and don’t involve alcohol or drugs. Keeping yourself occupied can even take your mind off using and enjoying another day of clean living. We’ve come up with a few ideas to help get you started.

Visit a coffee shop. Even the smallest towns have a coffee shop these days. Grab your laptop or tablet and take advantage of the free wifi that most have to offer. You can easily spend a couple of hours surfing the web while you’re there. If web surfing is not your thing, take along a book or a magazine to read.

Ride a bike. Roads are becoming more bike-friendly with bicycle-only designated lanes. Look up nearby bike trails and take advantage of a pretty day. You’ll get some fresh air and exercise at the same time.

Take a walk. Do a bit of research and find out if there are any nice walking trails nearby. If not, a daily walk around the block will get you more familiar with your neighborhood. You could even get to know your neighbors better and make new friends.

Go to the movies. Watching reruns on TV at home gets boring. Find out what’s playing at the local theater and get out and enjoy a movie. The seats are very comfortable these days. Some are even better than your recliner at home!

Take up gardening. Planting seeds and watching them grow is fulfilling and rewarding. You could even lose a little weight as you work in your garden. At any rate, you’ll eat a lot healthier with all of the fruits and vegetables you produce.

Listen to music. Depending on the kind of music you listen to, it can either help you relax or it can boost your mood. Spending some time listening to your favorite songs, whether they are oldies or the latest pop music, can be a fun way to spend an afternoon. You can use music to motivate you as you work out or do your housecleaning. Not only is it an enjoyable way to spend a few hours – the therapeutic rewards make it well worth it.

Dance. As you listen to your favorite music, it’s only natural to want to get up and dance. If you’re too shy to dance in public, you can even do this at home. You don’t have to dance to impress anyone. It’s a great way to burn energy. You work many different muscle groups with this activity, and it’s an effective cardio exercise. Dancing is a key way to relieve stress and clear your mind. 

Visit friends. You may have a few friends you haven’t seen in a while that would be really happy if you paid them a visit. This could be someone in your neighborhood, or maybe you could plan a day trip to visit someone who lives a few hours away. 

Volunteer. When you volunteer your time for a cause you believe in, you not only help others – you help yourself, as well. It gives you a sense of purpose and pride to know that you’ve contributed to something worthwhile. What’s more, if you decide this work is your life’s passion, your past volunteer work will look good on your resume.

Go swimming. Swimming is a great stress reliever and can help you regain muscle strength. In the water, you don’t put weight on your bones, which allows you to move more freely. In turn, you build and strengthen your muscles. 

Remodel or redecorate a room. Give yourself a change of scenery, right in your very own home. Rearrange your furniture or replace a few old pieces with newer ones. Add splashes of color with new decorations, or go for a completely new color scheme, using throw rugs or furniture covers. Repaint the walls or paint just one wall to pep up the room.

Draw or color. If you’ve enjoyed doodling on a scratch pad, why not try your skills on canvas? Draw your first original work of art. Add color to it with paint or your other favorite medium. If you don’t trust your drawing skills, there are plenty of adult coloring books with great pictures that you can color as you wish.

Go shopping. Even if it’s just a trip to the grocery store, it gets you out of the house. If there is a store close by, walk – don’t drive, especially if it’s just to pick up a few things. Alternately, take a trip to the mall and buy yourself something nice. You deserve it.

Get a manicure or a pedicure. It can be enjoyable and even relaxing to get your nails done. Plus, they will be much nicer to look at afterward.

Call a friend or relative. These days, people spend a lot of time chatting back and forth on their cell phones via text. This form of communication has become somewhat impersonal, and there’s only so much you can convey in a text. By calling someone and speaking to them, you can hear and express emotions so much better. It takes the confusion out of the message. Plus, it’s nice to hear someone’s voice if you haven’t talked to them in a while.

Get a dog. Dogs require love and attention. Plus, they need to be walked regularly. There are many designated dog parks in almost all cities and towns today, and you could meet people who are also enjoying a sunny summer walk with their pets. If you’re not ready to take on the responsibility of pet ownership, you could walk with a friend who has one. More than likely, they will appreciate the company.

Try a new recipe. With all of the fresh fruits and vegetables available in the summer months, why not try out some new recipes? It could be something simple like a salad dressing to pour over fresh from the garden lettuce and tomatoes. If you’re feeling more daring, plan a sober dinner party and prepare a few dishes for your friends.

Take up yoga. Yoga is not only good for toning your body – it also helps you learn to relax your mind. In turn, you may find it easier to meditate. Meditation could have positive effects on your conscious awareness and help you relax. Even if you don’t meditate, yoga will help you get in tune with your own body. You’ll become more aware of your breathing and sensory perceptions, and you’ll discover things about your own body that you never imagined.

Crochet or knit. If you already know how to crochet or knit, that’s great. If not, it might be a nice hobby to start. It’s relaxing, yet motivating, once you’ve created a few pieces on your own. Summer is the perfect time to get started on scarves, caps, and mittens that you’ll be sporting all winter. You could even come up with your own ornaments for holiday decorating.

Take summer classes. If you’ve been thinking about continuing your education, look for summer courses or classes you can take. These can be for college credits or to help you gain new skills for a potentially better job. The more education you have, the better it looks on your resume.

Read a book. Stay on top of the latest releases and go for the season’s bestsellers. Or choose something educational. If you find a writer or series that you really like, pick up Book One and go through the entire collection. Once you get started, it can be hard to put a good book down.

Play a game. Games come in a variety of forms. There are console games, board games, card games and online games. You can choose to play a game of solitaire either with a deck of cards (the old-fashioned way), on your computer, or on your cell phone. There are also apps for puzzle or memory games that can be played alone. These days, you can even play interactive games with teams or against an online opponent. Games can be so much fun that you can easily spend a good part of the day playing them. Keep a clock nearby so you don’t lose track of time while you’re playing.

Get a new hairstyle. Summer is the perfect time for a new ‘do. Look up a few do-it-yourself videos and spend some time practicing until you feel confident. If you don’t think that’s for you, you can spend some time at a hair salon. Go for the latest style or just get a couple of inches taken off so that you can keep cooler in hot weather.

Start a blog. If you’re not one for journaling, then blogging could be another outlet. You can share your thoughts and experiences with the world, or keep them private for yourself. Doing so can help you to go back and see just how far you’ve come in your recovery. You may also have tips or vital information to share with others who are seeking help and insight.

Go sightseeing. You don’t even have to go far. Often, there are places of interest right in our own neighborhood that we take for granted. Visit a local museum or art gallery. New items come in all the time, so even if you have been there in the past, there could be lots of interesting and one-of-a-kind items that you haven’t seen.

Travel. Plan a trip to a place that you’ve never been. Learning about different cultures firsthand can be a memorable experience. You’re sure to taste new foods and discover that people go about their daily lives in other ways than we do. It can add perspective to your own life and change the way you feel about the world.

Play an instrument. If you already know how to play an instrument, now could be a good time to perfect your skills. You may already know the effect that music has on your sensory skills. It can lift your mood and take your mind off your worries. Studies have shown that musicians are more likely to have increased brain function than non-musicians. If you don’t already know how to play an instrument, it’s never too late to learn. There are many free tutorials to be found online. Playing an instrument can be the ultimate stress reliever.

Plan a picnic. Map out a nice spot ahead of time, then pack a lunch and enjoy the day. Schedule a picnic with friends and have everyone bring a dish or a side. City parks make great spots to meet up. It’s also a great place to spend a few hours if you or your friends have children.

Create a daily plan. When you map out your activities for the day ahead of time, it can help you stay on track and focused. By filling your day up with things that keep you busy, you’re hardly likely to steer yourself off track. Just don’t be too hard on yourself. There are really only so many things you can do in a day, so plan accordingly. Don’t rush through things. Take your time and enjoy the moment.

Remember, detoxification is only the first step in your recovery. Maintaining a healthy, sober life afterward takes a conscious effort, but it can be done. By keeping yourself occupied, you can live a fulfilling life without drugs or alcohol. Summertime offers the best opportunity for outdoor sober activities, but there are plenty of things you can do indoors, as well. 

Hopefully, these suggestions can help you to discover fun activities or rediscover old pastimes you had long forgotten about. Have a great time and don’t forget the sunscreen!

Don’t Just Believe It – Live It!


Sure it is tough being in a rut day after day.  You go devotedly to the same nothing job, and the money never increases, so there’s no way out. It’s a safe place, though, because you know what you’re going to bring home every payday and you’ve got your bills all figured out. You’re in a somewhat safe place as long as everything’s covered.

photo of woman looking at the mirror

Photo by bruce mars on

But, come on! You know you had dreams! You know that one day you thought you were going to be famous. You still look in the mirror every day and see a hint of the young person who once had ambition.

You might be the best damn cashier in the whole store, heck, even the whole company. But who the hell ever got famous for being a good cashier? Who ever got famous for flipping a burger really good?

If there was something that you enjoyed in your personal life and were really good at, then go back to it. Make it your passion. Find the time! Take the time! It’s so worth it.

Wouldn’t you rather be rich and famous from a painting that you drew, rather than the one billionth customer you rang up?

You have to find your opportunity and take it. You are living your life. You have to take charge.

Why do we tolerate the word “knee”?


230312_1959545275894_2355454_nOk, so I’m not talking about the word “knee” literally. I’m talking about the way it’s spelled. That and a few others, such as damn, doubt, gnat, and gnome.

Why the hell do we need silent letters in English words? Who made that rule, and why is it okay? And why are we forced to go along with it? Can someone explain?



Why You Might Never Want To Meet Your Idols


I’d rather not mention names here, but as fortune would have it, I actually met and even became friends with a singer who I had idolized for many years. I first heard of him when he was with a somewhat popular band, and followed his solo career when he left the group. I had a sort of a teenage crush on him and was a little obsessed, quite frankly.

I finally had the opportunity to go to one of his concerts in Germany. I thought for sure it would be at a huge concert hall with thousands of people. As fortune would have it, it was quite small, and I even got to meet him and hang out with him before the show! When I first saw him standing outside of the venue, I couldn’t believe my eyes. I know I acted totally stupid, I mean, here he was, just standing here and talking to me!! And we were like, just, hanging out!

The next time he came through, I was there. And he recognized me! So, we hung out a little before the show again, and he told me that I would love the opening band. He was right. They were incredible!

Well, after attending a few more shows since then, we were friends. Not only were we friends, but I became close friends with the opening band.

So now things are weird. It’s not weird as in our friendship being weird. It’s weird in the fact that I want to be that star-struck fan again, but now it’s different. I’m still insane about their music and I still scream and dance around like crazy at all their shows.

11200805_10206214327024706_4085956511866190911_n (2)But now I hang out with them backstage and even have their telephone numbers. Every fan’s dream, right?

Don’t get me wrong. It is a dream come true. But now I’ve gotten to know them as people. I know about their personal lives. I know about things they deal with. I’ve come to find out that they are normal, everyday people.

What I really wanted was to know them as the insane people they portray onstage. I wanted to think of them as dangerous.

Instead, I’ve met some wonderful people who have some of the same struggles as I do. They stick together and look out for each other. They have families that they miss and leave behind as they tour the world. They are so normal!

Getting to know your idols in person can change your whole perspective of them. That can be both good and bad.


Therapeutic Conversations


Have you ever really sat back and noticed how a conversation can just go on and on, with several different topics being covered in a short period of time?

That happens often when one gets started on a topic about something that happened in someone’s life or a situation that the listeners can relate to. You start talking about one situation, and then it slowly drifts into another as other people add their perspectives. As new situations are added, the more others relate.

group of people sitting on white mat on grass field

Photo by Helena Lopes on

That’s why group discussions and therapy can be helpful. You might go in thinking that you’re just going to listen, and lo and behold! you share a similar experience and can’t wait to get it off your chest.



In Love With Being In Love


Beginning romance is one of the best feelings there is. You feel sexy and attractive. And actually, you are. You put more focus on your appearance when there is someone who obviously really likes the way you look.

19105735_10212634375601908_1877532314289582754_n (2)It’s sad that this feeling doesn’t last forever. Some relationships fizzle out in a short time. Some last a little longer. But the butterflies in the stomach slowly flitter away.

If only that feeling could last forever! Some people enjoy it so much that as soon as it wears off they start looking around for something else. Someone would make a fortune if they could find a way to bottle it.


Physically Attractive vs Sex Appeal


Have you ever noticed that sometimes you can be sexually attracted to someone just from their actions? There is a certain charm about some people that makes you just envision what they are like in bed. When they possess this sort of appeal, the fact that they are overweight or have any other unattractive features seem unnoticeable.

At the same time, there are many physically attractive people who draw you in immediately by their looks, only to turn you off by their actions. Still, you may wish to consider taming the beast and giving it a go. Those types of relationships usually don’t end up going very far in the long run.

That’s why you should really get to know someone before you consider taking things a step further. Things aren’t always what they seem.

beach bikini couple enjoyment

Photo by Adam Kontor on

The “Good” Book??


I’ve just never been able to figure out why many people swear on the Bible. It is also amazing to me about how many of those same people have never actually read it. And of those who have, is there something wrong with their comprehension skills. The Bible is full of hatred, violence, and incest!

How can this book even be considered “good”. It preaches one thing, yet obviously, there were many goings-on in there that we should overlook.

Apparently, they realized that many things were wrong back then and set out to create rules to make things right. That is all fine and good. Yet there are people today who only go to church so that they can see the bad in others. Since they go to church religiously, that makes them good, right?

How are hatred and fault-finding right? Just do good and accept others for who they are and that’s all the guidance you need.




Who needs relationships? Can’t we just have sex?


So, who ever decided that exclusive relationships between two people was the only way to go? I mean, cheating would be eliminated completely if we could just be with who we want to be with whenever we wanted to be with them, right? Why dedicate years of your life to just one person? Just spend some quality time together and then move on.

Sexual urges are natural and can happen at any time whenever two people experience things together. Different situations can bring people closer, like a work assignment, an accident – any number of things. If you’re dedicated to one person, you have to somehow pretend you’re not human with natural urges. How do you do that?? Slip-ups happen all the time.

OK, so I’m a married woman myself. I enjoyed a wild single life and I didn’t even think about marriage until I met my husband. I guess it’s just what you eventually do. You find someone that you think you can live with for the rest of your life. And I think that I can do that with my husband. But sometimes the thoughts are there. Not thoughts of cheating, but thoughts of why do I do things differently out of consideration of being a married woman.

I miss a lot of simple things, like being able to read a book in peace. I wish I could just eat a quick snack, but instead cook up a meal for the two of us. I want to go on a diet, but then I’d have to cook separate meals or tell him to fend for himself, and that’s not right.


And then there’s the sex. To be honest, I wish we were having more. Much more. Our married sex has gotten down to maybe only once or twice a month, seriously. He can’t perform as well as he used to, and I don’t like to force him, so….. So, yeah, that’s why I find myself coming back to these ponderings.


Growing Up With a Bad Mother


Growing up, my mother always made us feel sorry for her. We were to blame for her varicose veins. It was our fault that she couldn’t get a job and go to work. Poor mom never had money while we were kids because of us. Once we were old enough to get out and get jobs ourselves, we were required to give up our money to help support the household.

Before this, however, only Mom was able to have the good clothes. She told us that she was the one who had to look good for the family. She would then pass them on down to us, whether they fit us well or not. Come to think of it, she had plenty of money for alcohol and drugs, too.


When we got driver’s licenses, Mom suddenly needed to be taken places. I’m not sure how she managed so well before, but now she had places she had to go. Funny – I literally hitchhiked to work at the age of 15, because I was forced to find a job and figure out myself how to get there. Mom wasn’t concerned about who it was that might pick me up. She needed money. I ended up being quite fortunate, because I was propositioned many times. Luckily, nothing happened.

My mom’s pity party that we endured as children carried on into our adulthood. My younger siblings still make themselves available for her every beck and call. They are the “Good Kids”.  I, for one, am not playing into it. She doesn’t deserve it from me.

Funny thing, when you’re young and you’re raised that way, you just don’t know any better. You are taught to respect your parents and you don’t even realize how wrong they are. It’s not until you’re older that you start to wonder how you ever thought any of that was right. I can’t make my siblings see it, though. They are all against me. I’m okay with that.